A recent book called Devices of the Soul by Steve Talbott argues how the preponderance of technology that claims to make life easier seems to, in a fundamental sense, make life harder. That, admittedly, is a rather poor exposition of the thesis… but you need know only the general idea here. Incidentally, this book is predated by a rather more famous example of a similar philosophical exploration called The Technological Society by Jacques Ellul. Basically, both works discuss the implications of “technology.” Don’t think of technology as simply computers, however. Here’s a helpful comment from the Amazon page selling The Technological Society (emphasis mine):
Conan O’Brien’s commencement address at Harvard makes a pretty quick read and an excellent examination of fantastic comedy writing. In addition to functioning on the levels of entertainment and humor, the speech goes a step further: it actually inspires. This line between laughter and inspiration is particularly difficult to walk in public speaking, but Conan did so quite successfully here. I’d highly recommend reading the entire speech, but here’s my favorite part, in which Conan speaks about starting up [Late Night with Conan O’Brien] in 1993.
Mykala directed me to some information that she saw on a recent Oprah show about happiness called “How Happy are You?” She had some good quotes from it.
We have beliefs about ourselves and our lives, and our perception gathers evidence in support of these beliefs. If you believe that your life isn’t satisfying or that you are a failure, you will look around for ways that this is true. If you believe that life is fulfilling and you are a worthy and significant person, you’ll find evidence to prove this case.
I was going to think about this post for a long time, attempt to be as eloquent as possible, and then type up a long tale recounting the events that have transpired since my application to dental school. Perhaps that post will still be written, but this post is not that one. I didn’t make the cut for the University of Minnesota class of 2011 dental school. This Tuesday, the rejection notice came in the mail. No wait list for me. No dental school this September.
If you place your chin on a windowsill and contemplate the land stretching out from you and the sky curving down to meet it, you’ll notice things you never noticed before. This slow down in your frenetic pace illustrates planes making white pencils in the sky and the clouds drifting past. It’s during times such as these that I realize my ability to occupy my time with the most simple of activities is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. I find myself running away from my perfectionism into a purgatory of still meditation. My problem is that a job half-started is a job not completed to my standards. While this means I never stop a project in the middle, it prevents me from taking breaks along the way or even starting. It’s all or nothing for my mind, a tendency I would desperately like to overcome. I’d like to study for an hour and break for 15 minutes early in the day, rather than study for three hours straight at the end.
All humans are simmering pots of needs; every person you meet has a unique concoction of needs brewing. Take a baby, for instance: its needs overflow moment to moment in cascades of petulant tears. As that baby grows up, it does not stop literally crying out for things because it no longer want to, it stops because crying out no longer works, surrounded as it is in a sea of selfish people. Over the years, we learn to bottle up our needs, yet they continue to drive us from the inside out.
I just threw this up as my away message on AIM, but I have to open my problem to the greater wisdom of you lovely tumbledry readers. The question is tangential to that dressing rule which has haunted men for a long time: when wearing black clothing, one’s belts, shoes, and accessories should not be brown. I am not completely sure where this originated, but it makes sense. A small infraction on the rules can be ok, but beyond this it starts to look weird. Ever seen a brown car with a black interior? I have not. While purely anecdotal evidence may not be sufficient to prove that black cars with brown interiors do not exist/look good, my point stands. (Because I say it does, and this is my personal pulpit. I am abrasive tonight.)
The closest I ever came to dying was over two years ago. Like many teenage near-death experiences, this one was entirely unexpected and so quickly recovered from that it barely registered as a blip on my adolescent radar screen. And yet, looking back now, I can frame the event in my mind: an inch or two one way, a half second more slowly or quickly, and I would exist either in a vegetative state or as a memory of existence, whose tenure on earth would be marked in cold marble on a sunny hill near a church in Woodbury.
Fall: the time of year when the green life in trees explodes, painting the roads and rivers the brightest, most intense colors that deciduous life knows. It is with this exclamation point of yellow, orange, and red that the life of summer finally yields to oncoming winter. The annual metamorphosis of long days to short, leafy green to snow white, and blue skies to dirty gray is always a time of reflection for me. This year, though, as I watch the throbbing of life in the outdoor world turn a corner to a dormant state, I come upon a realization that is nothing earth-shattering, but nevertheless intensely personal: everything has its Fall.
Siddhartha, by Hermann Hesse - About 4 years ago, in the midst of my troubled adolescence, my Dad recommended I read this book. I checked it out from the library, and got it to my desk. I never read it. I think I should.
I found out what my scheduling slash time management problem is.
1.) I need to organize my to-do lists into discrete blocks of time. This will allow me to actually get everything done.
2.) In order to help with part one: I need to reduce perfectionism. My problem has been thinking “I can’t do this to the N’th degree of perfection, so I’ll do something lower on the priority list” … this leads to a rough cycle of anger at myself for not completing tasks, and further reduction in productivity.
I’m going to leave this online until I am certain that all people whose buddy list I am on have read this.
The world of AIM and online is a hugless, barren, and lonely place. If you want to do one something right now to improve your life, try this: close AIM, let email pile up, and turn off the computer. That’s all.
Keillor’s Law - This will be printed out, because I need something like this to live by:
“If the romance or marriage needs help, the answer almost always is Have More Fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. Take a brisk walk. Dance. Take a trip to Duluth. Read Dickens.”
What a bizarre thought that passed through my head but … does everyone wash their hair second in the shower? What I mean is, I always wash myself first, and then wash my hair. It has always made sense to do things that way, but it’s one of those things in life that just makes you wonder, do I have any compelling reason (heck, any reason at all) to do it this way? Do other people think it sacrilege to wash hair first? Honestly, though, I hope there aren’t too many things in my life that I do simply because I have always done them that way, it would be an “unexamined life,” to quote Socrates. I do things like drive on the right side of the road not on the left, sleep at night not during the day, and wear socks with shoes all for very good reasons … I guess I will try to make sure I have reasons for most everything.
Despite all the tests, quizzes, labs, papers, and final preparations that you are going through right now, there will not be another time in your life like this. You will not live so close to so many friends, sharing such a unique living space again. You will not change and grow so much as an individual in such a short space of time again. You will not find new interests, or have the time to pursue them, in the same way you do now.
So this is the last day of 2004. Incidentally, tomorrow I get to see if the code I wrote for showing how many days ago posts occur works across years … considering the amount of time I spent on that, I sure hope so. But honestly, the flip to 2005 is more exciting than that. It’s another run at the four seasons, school, and life. While any day can be a fresh start, it is always nice to think of a fresh year. At the very least, one slows down to think more deeply about the passage of time … what really has happened this past year, how fast did it really go, were we the people we see ourselves as, the people we want to be? I think about tonight and the high winds outside, how cozy I feel in my own room, safe from the gales and crosswinds of the unpredictable world. But it’s when I hear those winds, know how turbulent it is outside my haven, that I really value the four walls around me. I want to avoid taking anything, anybody for granted.