Dr. Katz

Here are some selected quotes from literally the best professor I have ever had the pleasure of learning from. Dr. Katz could teach p-chem to third graders.

“I’ve seen your schedule — it’s incredible. You guys are really, really busy. Me, I just sit around all day and blow bubbles and come in here occasionally to talk to you.”

“I got an email from a med student, which was actually quite unprofessional because it used the F-word, attacking my use of ‘wah-wah’ for water. They seemed really upset.”

“55,500 mM water; the highest water concentration known to woman.”

“It’s 1:25 on a Friday afternoon — if I’m not entertaining, I’ll lose you.”

Dr. Katz: So, the kidney filters 180L water and 25 thousand mmoles nackle per day. Which is a ginormous amount.
Class member #1: I’d like to take issue with you using the word ginormous. I’m going to write a letter.
Katz: I see. If it interrupts your learning, then I will not use the g-word again.
CM1: Thank you.
Katz: So, the question is, what happens in the kidney such that you see such huge amounts of filtration and relatively small amounts of water and nackle secretion?
CM2: Can we also scratch ‘nah’ and ‘nackle’ from the vernacular?
Katz: Ok, now we’ve gone too far.
CM3: Hey, I like ‘nackle.’
CM1: I was kidding, it’s OK to use ginormous.
Katz: Thank you.

Katz: So what’s it called when you have red blood cells in the lumen of the nephron?
Us: Blood in pee!
Katz: Yes, I think that is the clinical term. “Blood in pee.” You come into the doctor for a diagnosis… ‘It appears you have blood in pee.’ So how can this happen?
CM: You get punched in the kidney.
Katz: Blunt trauma can cause blood in pee. Alternatively, if you swallowed a bee and it stung the capillary wall, causing red blood cells to enter the lumen; that would also work.

7 comments left


Dan McKeown

Better than Chester E. Wilson?



What the heck are you learning p-chem for to work on teeth. That is where I’m completely lost.

Alexander Micek

While Dr. Katz could teach p-chem to third graders, he doesn’t. He teaches physiology.

Perhaps Dr. Katz was Chester Wilson’s first student. :)

Dan McKeown +2

Please Alex, they are called disciples.


Dan, I tried to heart your comment twice, but it seems that Alex has disabled this capability. Please know that I give it at least 2 hearts, though I cannot show this in any visible manner.

Sincerely, Mykala


I’ll give it for you, even though I don’t know this Chester Wilson but I’ve heard good things.

Alexander Micek

When I coded tumbledry, I made super duper sure to control voting frequency. Soo, you are limited to one vote per IP per hour. Sorry about that, Mykala! You can however, vote again, now that it has been over an hour since your last vote. Yay!

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