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When I was in the college dorms from 2003 to 2007, students could freely exchange music between their libraries: I’ve ended up with over 20,000 songs this way, over 2 straight months of music. Running low on hard drive space, I recently took a closer look at my music library. I’ve listened to 7,033 of those songs. The most number of plays on a single track is 3572—that is the pink noise loop from SimplyNoise I used to block ambient noise when I was in school and studying in noisy public spaces. Anyhow, in college I grabbed entire discographies from artists just because I thought I should like them. The Who. Bob Dylan. 146 Bob Marley tracks.
Two days ago, we saw a live puppet theater in the backyard of a Prospect Park neighbor on Franklin Avenue.
The title of the production was “The Adventures of Juan Bobo”, and the second half of it, which we caught, was really fun. The live accordion player made it really… lovely, too.
I’ve been thinking about how lucky I am. Please understand that I am not using the word “lucky” as shorthand to describe the idea of ‘fortunate’ or ‘secure’ or ‘genetic lottery winner’. I am lucky. I’ll explain why.
“Ya see, this one lady is persistent, but the other’s the only one I want to date.” At Lifetime, I found myself inadvertently eavesdropping on a conversation between two men, one in his late 40s, the other in his 30s. The one talking was the older of the two, and from the way he was speaking, I couldn’t decide if he’d been through a difficult divorce or simply never married. It didn’t matter, though, he was describing how interested he was in this woman in his life.
Roger Ebert reviews the movie Blue Valentine:
All marriages have milestone moments, events of startling clarity that allow the new lovers to see themselves as a couple who have been defined.
Love in Four Acts: What is Romantic Love?:
The romantic couples who have been together for half their lives have something quite different from romantic love. Johnson calls it “stirring-the-oatmeal” love – “it represents a willingness to share ordinary human life, to find meaning in the simple, unromantic tasks … to find the relatedness, the value, the beauty, in the simple and ordinary things, not to eternally demand a cosmic drama … or an extraordinary intensity in everything” (pg. 195). In a strange way, this is true love because it can be everlasting, but this is not the love script that we are bombarded with from every literary or entertainment form in our lives.
Derek Powazek tells The Real Story of JPG Magazine. He has some helpful words of wisdom:
Decisions aren’t decisions if you have to keep making them. Set on the course and stick to it. If you keep talking about things that have already been decided, nothing will ever get done.
Mykala and I are currently riding a frighteningly violent relationship rollercoaster full of hairpin turns and terrifying drops. Three years: the stakes are high, very high.
I feel that when I’m old
I’ll look at you and know
The world was beautiful
Then you tell me
You say that love goes anywhere
In your darkest time, it’s just enough to know it’s there
I’m thinking strongly about seeing the movie Solaris, whose plot revolves around an unknown force that makes manifest people using only the memories from others. Roger Ebert made a striking point in his review of the 2002 version:
Whoa. As I write, graduation with a B.S. in biochemistry and life-changing changes all crash down at once. I should brainstorm for some sort of longer form writing about these events. I could call my writing a “post” … and then, as they accumulate, arrange these “posts” in reverse chronological order on a sort of faux-forum online. I’ll call that a world wide web log of my life. Perhaps I could shorten that to “web log.” Or even “blog.”
My parents celebrated twenty seven years together today, and the event got me thinking about the blood, sweat, and tears that go into a partnership of almost three decades. It seems to me, from limited experience, that relationships are founded on the buoyancy of optimism, which initially keeps them afloat on the turbulent waters of life. It then also seems inevitable that one must (at some point) decide whether to jump ship or instead choose to be vigilant against the shoals that will founder and also avert becalming far out at sea. My sea-faring analogy stretches both your patience and my nautical vocabulary to the breaking point, so I must discontinue it … but surely you can see what I mean? After optimism, eventually you must make a decision.
Two days ago, I moved out of my home for the past three years: Cretin Hall, Room 500. I moved in to this unique room during the second month of my freshman year of college. After four weeks of rooming with someone I had absolutely nothing in common with, I finally cajoled residence life into giving me the key to the vacant single on the top floor of my 1890’s dorm.
She hung up the phone and I listened as, in a twist of irony, the dial-tone harmonized perfectly with George Winston’s “Living Without You” playing in the background. I listened until the tone stopped and the busy signal took over, beeping a relentless rhythm against my tired eardrums. I wondered if I would ever understand love, why it makes us do what we do, what it should be like, who are models of it, or even something as deceivingly simple as its definition.
Girlspeak to English Dictionary - Some of these aren’t the greatest, but there are some real gems in here.
Credit to Jimmy Eat World for these lyrics. On their newest (amazing) EP “Stay On My Side Tonight” (recommended by tumbledryer Nils) is a great song called “Closer.” The lyrics follow.
Every day I get a little closer dear
Will you love me darling when I get there
I’ll need sunshine
I’ll need rest
Pour us whiskey, water, kiss
If I remember correctly (well, if my digging up the files surrounding this event yielded the correct results), it was early fall of 2001 when I did a very small part to help the process of bringing together two people who were meant to be together. Had I been there or not, I am convinced Matt and Shayla would still have come together, but I like to think I helped two good friends in a small way.
Does She Love You? - “If she ever says the words, “I hate you”: She loves you. Or she did at one point, anyway.”
Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About - Incidentally, this has become a a book. He gets to, perhaps, the crux of whatever small “point” there may be on his website: “As I’ve said before, the secret of a successful relationship is to become irretrievably embroiled in a bitter struggle to the death.”
HARRY: Would you like to have dinner? … Just friends.
SALLY: I thought you didn’t believe men and women could be friends.
HARRY: When did I say that?
SALLY: On the ride to New York.
HARRY: No, no, no, I never said that.
(pauses and thinks) Yes, that’s right, they can’t be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can - this is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. (another pause) No, that doesn’t work either, because what happens then is, the person you’re involved with can’t understand why you need to be friends with the person you’re just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say “No, no, no it’s not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,” the person you’re involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you’re just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let’s face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can’t be friends.