Because Sometimes Black and White Will Not Cut It
John made it obvious to me: I’ve been walking around with my arms held out in front of me like a zombie, missing everything that is obvious and letting my infinite reserves of worry take over. If I were a computer program, my source code would read as follows:
include alexBrain;
include alexPersonality;
include alexExterior;
alexDayToDay(class,4,homework,lift);
play(pianoMusic) where timesPerDay = 1;
loadLifeWorries();
loadFutureWorries();
loadPeopleWorries();
predictWorries(many);
sleep == false;
He’s right: it should be less worry and more real thought about what my life is right now. I like Things right now. I like them a lot. Currently, my biggest gripe with my situation on this earth concerns days only lasting for 24 hours. I can honestly say there is nothing more I can ask for. The days (and by days, I mean days and nights) are so good, I do not want this time in my life to end, or to fly by quickly. Sometimes I wish I could hit the slow motion button and watch the intricate dance of life execute perfect turns and steps to the rhythm of the surrounding world. But, alas, the responsibility to live in the moment lies with me and me alone — whether things are good or bad, no outside force can be called upon to slow them down.
Today is my mother’s birthday. Happy birthday, Mom! I had a heck of a time locating the proper card for her - nothing seemed to fit. I could not find the card embodying the perfect verse (minimalist preferred) and cover art that was both her and me. It was funny to try to decide, because I know in my position she would do the exact same thing: I am her son, without a doubt. Anyway, a family dinner is a possibility tomorrow night. It would be good to wish her happy birthday in person and talk to Katy.
Katy attends classes, teaches classes, homeworks for classes, lives and breathes classes. I rather envy her drive and determination - but I really wish she would get a break. Like, an all-around cool roommate (she has mostly had roommates that were cool in profile, but rather strange looking when more closely examined — if you’ll forgive the analogy). Even better, I’ve been hoping for a guy for her the past … two years. I know she does not need one, but honestly I wish she would find someone who was Nice and Normal. Finding the two N’s in one package is similar in difficulty to roping a wild steer with fishing line. Or, how about winning the lottery? Eliminating financial problems would let her focus on what she wants to do in life. My most realistic wish for her now, this moment, is that she can enjoy her schooling and have plenty of down time.
My quote of the day: “What’s my problem? Sometimes you are the dumbest person I know, Alex.” Fixed, though!