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960 Fails

A lady in South Korea failed her driver’s license test 960 times before passing. Here’s a Korean phrase, quoted from the article:

“Sajeonogi,” or “Knocked down four times, rising up five.”


Nursing Bobcats

Zoe the domestic house cat will be nursing three baby bobcats. Freakin’. Bobcats.


After a few weeks, the animals will be released into a specialty habitat, according to the article on this rather unique matter. Zoe is one brave kitty cat:


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Cow News

When Dan was an RA in Cretin Hall, he used to post funny, inspiring, or interesting news articles. He called them “moments of Zen.” If he were still an RA, I imagine Dan would post this: Cow plunges off cliff onto moving minivan.


Twins Separated at Birth

Twins Separated at Birth - Parents say the doctors stole a baby, doctors say parents abandoned a baby. Either way:

The two girls, Andrea and Marielisa, are now 15 and were recently introduced by mutual friends.

Their biological parents say no-one told them they were having twins.

When they were introduced, they apparently burst into tears at the realisation that, looking so identical, they had to be twins.


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Cat returns home after 10 years

Cat returns home after 10 years - Thank goodness for microchipping. Imagine seeing your pet again after 10 years. Ridiculous.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

CNN is guilty of massively weird/overblown/tabloid-like headlines on their front page. Small pockets of people noticed this, discussed it, and then a formalized effort was made to point out the stupidest and least news worthy headlines. And so WTFCNN? was born. Here are some of their highlights from the past week:


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Drunk Man Parks Horse in German Bank

Drunk Man Parks Horse in German Bank - You can’t make this stuff up.

A photo released by police on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 shows a horse standing next to a sleeping man in the foyer of a bank in the east German village of Wiesenburg on Monday, April 23, 2007. The obviously drunken man tried to rest with his horse in the bank’s entrance, when passers-by called the police who could convince the man and horse to leave the bank.

Aggressive elephant seal menace sonoma beaches

Aggressive elephant seal menace sonoma beaches - As usual, you can’t make this stuff up.

“Before the time of European colonization, grizzly bears would have kept all the elephant seals in check,” Allen said. “Only harbor seals would have been there. They have the instincts to take off into the water if they see a land animal appear, then come back when that animal’s gone. Elephant seals don’t. They confront what shows up. They are used to inhabiting islands. So it’s an interesting example of what happens when an ecosystem is disrupted. Take grizzlies out of the picture, and elephant seals aren’t scared off of the mainland beaches anymore.”

Chappelle pulls all-nighter

Chappelle pulls all-nighter - This Dave Chappelle guy, I think there’s more than meets the eye.

Anyone who bought a ticket to the Laugh Factory on Sunday night ended up getting two surprises.

The first came when Dave Chappelle appeared onstage at 10:36 p.m. for an unannounced set. The second shocker: Chappelle kept telling jokes until 4:43 the next morning—making his entire set a whopping six hours and seven minutes.

That’s the longest performance by any comedian in the the 28-year history of the Laugh Factory, according to founder Jamie Masada.


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Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon

Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon - An excerpt from the article: “Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses … like ‘tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.’ But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot’s omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.”


Man orders 40GB iPod - receives shrinkwrapped box of soap and some batteries

Man orders 40GB iPod - receives shrinkwrapped box of soap and some batteries - At least the thieves in the shipping chain had a sense of humor; or if this guy is being dihonest, at least he’s creative.

Police hunt farting dissident

Police hunt farting dissident - “Police in Poland have launched a nationwide hunt for a man who farted loudly when asked what he thought of the president.”

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12 nails into his head and he lives

12 nails into his head and he lives - Here we go: this guy was on drugs and shot twelve nails into his head with a pneumatic air gun. He lived.

It actually reminds me a news story in the area a couple of years ago where a workman was coming down a ladder with his nail gun pointing straight down, and it tapped a guy on the top of the head and unloaded a nail into the guy. Apparently the nail missed important blood vessels by millimeters (blood is poisonous to the brain). Chance is such a funny thing.

Heidi Klum and Seal buy a Giraffe

Heidi Klum and Seal buy a Giraffe - And then drive away with it in their Lamborghini. What’s not to love?

Britain’s worst driver was behind bars last night after being banned from the roads for nine lifetimes plus 109 years

Britain’s worst driver was behind bars last night after being banned from the roads for nine lifetimes plus 109 years - Can’t beat the sound bites from this article: “In 2000, Williamson was branded the worst driver “in Scotland, if not the UK”, after earning his sixth life ban.”

Trading up from a paper clip to a house

Trading up from a paper clip to a house - Over the course of about 10 trades, this guy has gone from a large red paperclip to a year’s free rent in Arizona. He’s looking to continue trading until he gets a house.


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Man caught changing traffic lights

Man caught changing traffic lights - This guy was changing traffic lights for two years with something called an Opticon, and was only charged $50 when caught. I would think it would be way way more.

Jesus may have settled down in Japan

Jesus may have settled down in Japan - I must stress the use of “legend” in this _opinion— column. I think the most interesting aspect of this story is Jesus as a traveler, who knew many cultures. Thank you, wise Sagert Sheets, for your link to this. Japan truly is awe-inspiringly strange sometimes (I speak of their blindingly bright packaging, etc.) I would love to visit.

Biggest rabbit I have ever seen

Biggest rabbit I have ever seen

Huge Block Of Ice Falls From Sky In Oakland

Huge Block Of Ice Falls From Sky In Oakland - My favorite part is from the end of the article:

“Big balls of ice sometimes fall from the sky without any real explanation.”