Monday
Thought I worked yesterday, and it turned out I didn’t. Before I figured this out, I drove out to both of the places I normally work, then drove home after a tour of the Twin Cities in the still-dark cloudy morning, and had the privilege of reading Christmas stories to Essie. Next, the three of us went out to pick up a gift, wrapped presents, made salt dough ornaments, took a nap (the three of us! Essie woke up first…), and watched two Christmas movies: The Santa Clause and National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
I was feeling a bit Monday-ish during a lot of the day, and looking back the day after, I wish I’d been cheerier. I have been needing less and less time between an event and the regretting of my missing “experiencing self.” My “remembering self” sees the meaning, the fleeting time, the value of experiences. My experiencing self is mercurial and worried.
However, I don’t think I need to think about all this in an abstract way: I love my wife and my daughter, and I’ll keep trying to love them truer and truer.