Weird Connections
Michael Jackson. A Star Tribune review of a local opera. The musical group Barenaked Ladies. How could these topics be anything but non sequiturs in a stream-of-conscious rambling? I did not know either until about ten minutes ago. That’s when I decided to write this post instead of simply linking to the Star Tribune’s review of an opera about a man called the “Elephant Man.” He lived in the mid 1800s and had an extremely rare genetic disorder called “Proteus syndrome.” He is pictured at right. More on that picture in a second. You see, I was reading that opera review, and frankly could have cared less about the actual opera … I was fascinated about the real story of this man who was shunned from society and what disease he actually had. Towards the end, the review finally mentions this man, Joseph Merrick. It says he died simply by laying flat; the weight of his head broke his neck. It was three feet around at time of death.
As I’m poking around the internet, I see a picture of Michael Jackson in a music video, dancing next to a claymation of the elephant man’s bones. The proportions are bizarre. You see, Jackson wanted to buy the bones for $1,000,000 from the British museum they are displayed at, but was turned down. The music video is poking fun at Jackson’s publicity problems with this. Anyhow, as I was reading this, suddenly a scrap of a Barenaked Ladies song popped into my head, “mmm all those crazy elephant bones.” Holy cow. That song actually mentions the elephant man by name, “If I had $1000000 (if I had $1000000) / I’d buy you John Merrick’s remains (all them crazy elephant bones).”
I think I will take a researching break for a while … sometimes the truth is too weird.
Comments
Caley
so this doesn't really have anything to do with anything in that post…except that it mentioned the star trib…but my picture was on the front page yesterday! wanna know who else made the cover? the president. thats right, i'm pretty much famous for doing nothing. kind of like him…haha…anyway, i just wanted to brag for a minute so thanks for letting me. (sidenote: the picture isn't online, sorry kids, but if you do find a copy i'll totally sign it for you)
Dan McKeown
First of all, I guess congratulations are in order for you making the front page with the President. Good for you Caley. Secondly, it is now very clear to me that you are done with o-chem because you would not be spending your time on the Elephant Man otherwise, that must be nice. Finally, does Markoe have this condition as well? His head is friggin huge.
Nils
I once killed a man with elephantitis. He kept squirting water at me with his ridiculous trunk. What would you have done?
Markoe
Sometimes I wish I had Elephantitis of the middle finger so I could flip Mckeown the bird from long distance.
Dan McKeown
Do not worry, I felt that middle finger in my heart.
Nils
Does no one care that I have killed a man? I am trying to vent my emotions but no one even cares!
Dan McKeown
I, for one, was not that shocked. As long as it was in Norway.
John T F Larson
Heck, I'll kill a man in a fair fight, or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if there's a woman, or if I'm getting paid …
Nils
I won't say the fight was fair or that there was a woman involved, but I will say that money had something to do with it.
John T F Larson
Did you happen to shoot the Elephant Man with an Elephant Gun, because that would have been ironic, and if the Elephant Man would have seen it coming, he probably would have laughed.
Dan McKeown
Not after he was shot he would not. An Elephant Gun would take off half of his chest, I do not think he would be able to laugh after such an injury.
Nils
Ahh, but he would be laughing mentally. I think we can all agree that if we were elephant men and were shot by an elephant gun that we would find some level of dark, morose, grotesque humor in the whole episode.
The King
He might be laughing mentally but deep down I think he would be crying that his name was Elephant Man.