Flushing Policies and Common Courtesy
The Cretin bathroom has four toilets: 2 urinals and 2 stalls. In the years past, people doing urinal-type activities in the stalls was not a problem: people flushed. This year, however, has been different. I noticed an unusual change: somebody was following the “if it’s yellow, let it mellow” policy. While this can “reduce your total household water usage by 20 - 25% if moderately applied” (source: 7th Generation), I sincerely doubt that the mystery mellower came from some water-starved desert area. Regardless, today I found out who was perpetrating this moderately smelly and unpleasant act.
It’s the kid who lives next to me!
I had long suspected, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt for over a month. That is, until yesterday, when I was shaving. My neighbor went in a stall that I know had clear toilet water, and came out. No sound of flushing. No floosh of hygenic satisfaction. I investigated. THE TOILET WATER WAS NO LONGER CLEAR. Fotunately, though, I did discover that he follows the second part of the old adage. That is, later in the day I was in the bathroom cleaning a dish, and he left a closed stall with a book in hand. I investigated. It was brown, and he had flushed it down.
Do I put up a sign staying “Please flush all types” or something?
Comments
John
What if it were apple juice that was old and expired. You should've taste-tested that unclear water.
Dan McKeown
i think it was apple juice, next time give it a little taste test, if it was not, well i think you are justified in peeing in his bed
Richard Roche
Some guy got all pissy at me one time because I was shaving over a sink and he said all my hairs were going to clog up the drain and that I should shave into a cup of water instead. I just thought to myself, "What are you, the bathroom nazi?" and continued shaving into the sink. The moral of this story is, Alex, please don't be a bathroom nazi.
Markoe
Heil Micek!
Dan McKeown
haha, i just had a mental image of Alex goose-stepping around the bathroom singing in german
stevo clappier
haha, hilarious alex, I think that you should avoid all forms of confrontation. Make yourself anonymous by all means. You can become a "bathroom nazi" in the shadows. I suggest little daily reminders to your neighbor that are anonymous, threatening, and demoralizing. Out of sheer guilt, he will begin to flush.
Alex O
Go to Petsmart, buy and train a piranha to live in the harsh environment of the toliet. Then work with the piranha, using positive reinforcement to train it to leap out of the water to attack any non-flushers on site. Problem solved. Oh, and it had better be able to swim pretty well if you want it to last more than a few flushes.
Alexander Micek
oh man, this one got me laughing out loud. thanks guys, for facilitating my passage through a rough week of tests.
now, to address some of your concerns.
(1) IT WAS URINE. NOT APPLE JUICE. ha! though, next time, i will take a sample and mail it to you all for testing. we can agree that would be the most democratic way about things.
(2) to combine some ideas: goose stepping (Dan/Markoe) German Nazi (Richard) Control of the Bathroom will be done in absolute ninja-like secrecy (Steve). enforcement of bathroom rules will be swift, precise, and brimming with justice (Batman).
(3) alex used the "positive reinforcement" phrase correctly. he gets additional points on top of "creative and hilarious" problem solving.
excuse me, i have to go check the bathroom now.
Alexander Micek
Incidentally, we have a more serious problem afoot: dark urine.
I fear my neighbor may be seriously dehydrated.