Hello
I’m not sure why I have stayed up so late tonight. I think going to bed early would have been admitting defeat to all the factors affecting me. I plan on getting up early tomorrow and getting my work done, and resting on Sunday. We all need a Sabath even if we aren’t religious. I don’t miss the summertime nearly as much as I thought I would. I am sincerely and truly enjoying the richness of the college intellectual experience.
We went to the Casino night and saw a great turn-out combined with great prizes. I won a free meal at Old Country Buffet. That’s right, good ol’ OCB. We played pool at Grace with some Grace women for a long long time. It was all fun. Right now, however, I would have preferred to study. It simply interests me more. I am finding happiness from the inside rather than the outside. When you feel that contact with the crucial wellspring inside you, it becomes fulfilling to study in a room on your own. Meeting people is the least of my worries; it comes very easily. You see a person, talk about something, talk more, and the two of you know if you are compatible. If you are, then you talk more later. I simply see it as that cut-and-dry right now because I realize it’s not a big deal. My friends-to-be are out there and I will meet them. There is nothing to worry about and no friendships to force into being for the sole purpose of making myself feel better. I’ve learned that external things can’t patch our own problems on the inside. The outside person may help you solve the problem, but the truth is you make the decision yourself. I do believe in the power of love, however. I believe it doesn’t seek to change (the famous bible passage says “alter”) and that it makes the person want to be a better person. That reminds me of that movie … As Good as it Gets … “You make me want to be a better man” …. or what was the movie? … “you had me at hello … you had me at hello.”
Again, I am rambling.
My Mom stopped by today and it was great to see her. I am saving a trip home for some weekend where I really need to get away and feel at home once again. Frankly, this room and dorm seem God-forsaken sometimes. However, that is more than made up by my Philosophy classes in one of the most beautiful classrooms on campus. Aquinas Hall Room 302 has the most wonderful sunlit, breezy, expansive, and relaxing view on campus. The classroom felt like an entirely different world. When Dr. Laumakis discussed his annual trip to Hawaii to teach philosophy, it was very easy to picture this classroom there. If I ever need to relax, that is where I will be, at least while the weather holds.
I have a secret plan which I am currently on Phase II of. You’ll never guess what it is, and I may not even post the outcome if it does not succeed. I have had plenty of help from many resources and I pray for and look forward to a successful outcome. It has great potential. I understand you may not be religious, you may not care about what happens, and you definitely don’t know what I’m talking about. However, I still request that you pray for this project of mine. Great things are possible.