tumbledry

Things That Have Recently Happened

My favorite posts to read a few years down the road are the “things that are happening” posts. I find them much more interesting than whatever article was holding my interest at the time. Incidentally, I’m most motivated to post the “holding my interest” stuff over the life-happenings stuff. Paradoxical, no?

Bachelor Party
I went to Steve’s bachelor party, hosted by John. It was really really fun. I wish we could’ve stayed until 4 in the morning, but since we’re almost grown-ups now, we can only do that occasionally. Steve’s friends who I hadn’t met (Brian and Levi) were really cool, which made the whole event relaxed. John did a great job of making us all comfortable, entertained, and fed—it was really a good time. I particularly enjoyed reminiscing about some of the times that Steve has been coerced into doing things that are hilarious. His escapades dressing up as a woman for one of Nils’ movies will always always be funny. I really hope to see more of Steve and Nils in the coming months and years; they’re really good people I’ve fallen out of touch with. It’s completely comfortable to talk to them, even though it only happens occasionally, and I’d like to be their friends in the present-tense again. Incidentally, I’ve fallen out of touch with people from college, too (DAN, MARKOE, to start)—it’s starting to be downright shameful. I’ve got to make time. I came home from the bachelor party smelling like fire, and overjoyed to see my wonderful wife (Mykala).

Sleeping In
Regarding my previous comment about the bachelor party, I find something healthy in staying up late and then sleeping in. Here’s an interesting anecdote: our landlord, Mary Alice, is currently boarding an Egyptian named Ahmad. At 37, this is his first time out of the country… he is here to teach Arabic to the local elementary children. We see him around the duplex fairly regularly; I talked to him about his teeth (he’s having some sensitivity after his flight over), and learned more about him. His family misses him (his 2 boys, especially), and he said he feels lonely. “Alex”, he says, “there is nobody around here, you see. In Cairo, on just a normal night like this, I would be out until 1 or 2 in the morning; there many people everywhere, and so many coffee shops open at this time.” It seems to me that this late night activity encourages a sort of camaraderie that one doesn’t get during daytime activities. I find it odd that our entire country seems to go to bed early. Ahmad gave us two bookmarks and one scene from the book of the dead, printed on actual papyrus. I found this gift quite thoughtful; we intend to frame it.

Apple Orchards
Mykala and I visited an apple orchard (Aamodt’s Apple in Stillwater), and found it really REALLY crowded compared to last year. I realized, belatedly, that we went on a Friday afternoon last year. Incidentally, the people there were rather unpleasant; “annoyingly entitled” was Mykala’s description. Hopefully, we can go again on a day with smaller crowds. We visited my old house in Stillwater (I think), and talked about what the future might bring: where I might work, where we might live. It’s all possibilities right now, no limitations.

Mary Alice
Last Monday, we visited our landlord Mary Alice in the E.R. She is in her 70s (we think), and is still an active real estate agent. As such, she was preparing a house down the street for a showing, and tripped over a vine in the yard, taking a tumble off of a five foot retaining wall onto the concrete sidewalk. Ahmad stopped by at about 8pm to give us the bad news, just as Mykala was getting home from work. We hesitated, and Mykala asked “what would you do in this situation, at home in Cairo?” Ahmad replied that, of course, he and his neighbors would go and visit whomever was in the hospital. So, we all drove down to the University of Minnesota ER to visit Mary Alice. Thankfully, two neighbors were there as well, tending to the details, as Mary Alice’s family lives on the West coast. She had to have her head wounds stapled closed, and the pain from her injured back was such that she had two doses of morphine in her system by the time we visited. When we came in, she took Mykala’s hand and immediately asked “how is school?” The attending, who was cleaning Mary Alice’s head, tried to explain things, stating the amount of morphine administered. This was completely normal behavior, however—it was clear the pain medications were doing their job. We haven’t heard anything since, but we are hoping Mary Alice quickly recovers; she is an institution in the neighborhood.

Walking
Mykala and I have a 4 mile route around the West River Road, across the Lake Street Bridge, and back on the East River Road that I really love. It doesn’t feel like the city, except for the parkway close by, and the busy Lake Street. Along the way, we talk about our thoughts, opinions, feelings, and what we’ve read or watched recently. I love this time together, because I love growing with my wife. I love that she challenges me intellectually, and I’ll never forget these walks we take. As long as I am able, I’ll walk with her.

2 comments left

Be My Thrill

The Weepies new album is exceedingly excellent. Here, try it out: Hard to Please, track 10 from their new album, Be My Thrill.

Acting

I’m not a doctor, but I play one at school.

Dental Countdown

Alright! 599 days of dental school remaining. Plus 4 hours and 56 minutes.

In case you are wondering, yes I am actually serious. That’s the amount of time left in school. Not bad, considering we started at almost 1400 days.

1 comment left

Musical Equation

Guillemots + Jónsi = Freelance Whales.

Trash Cleaning

A few weeks back, I was outside cleaning the trash can (again). It develops certain growths when humidity, heat, darkness, and nutrients (trash) combine in its corners. So, that called for soap and water on the outside. SoftScrub bleaching solution on the inside. At some point during the rinsing phase, I thought, “Well, I must be an adult now. Here I am, cleaning our trash can.” Then I caught myself in this moment of self-assuredness, realizing that I probably wasn’t too much of an adult yet. I had, after all, put off the cleaning for a very very long time.

Apparently, the guilt of procrastination weighs heavily on the pre-adult’s mind.

1 comment left

Graphing Your Emotional Life

I was listening to This American Life’s most recent show “Family Physics”, about the application of physical laws to relationships. I didn’t hear much of the actual episode, but it caused my mind to wander off on a tangent beginning this way: your emotional range increases as you become older, more mature, more experienced. But, earlier in your life, you can not comprehend the depth of pain and joy you’ll experience in the future. So, at any point in your life, you think that your extremes of happiness or sadness are the limits of your emotional capacity. In fact, you think you are plumbing the depths of despair or scraping the ceiling of joy at a variety of discrete points in your life. What is actually happening is an increase in your emotional distance between happiness and sadness. Instead of representing this with physics, why not use math (specifically, y=0.5(x)*sin(x) )? Indeed, in mathematical terms these emotional points are signified by local minima or maxima of your emotional capacities. This idea can’t be new, but I was so excited about it I made a diagram explaining it.

emotionalmath

I know what you’re thinking. “Alex, why are you trivializing life’s wonderful experiences, no matter how small?” The answer is, I’m not trivializing anything at all—I’m just trying to put them in context. After all, these local maxima and minima of your emotional rollercoaster are, as far as you know, your historic highest peak or lowest valley. Each peak on the curve stretches you past your emotional limit and into novel feelings. As a result, each inflection point is closer to orthogonal to the x-axis. With age comes range: greater pain and greater joy.

2 comments left

960 Fails

A lady in South Korea failed her driver’s license test 960 times before passing. Here’s a Korean phrase, quoted from the article:

“Sajeonogi,” or “Knocked down four times, rising up five.”

Apparently, the woman had trouble due to illiteracy. No issues with perseverance, though.

Personal Construct Theory

A bit on George Kelly’s Personal construct theory from Wikipedia:

…each individual’s psychological task is to put in order the facts of his or her own experience.

Mykala, please correct me if I’m off base here, but here’s what I’ve got: as story-makers, we are constantly fabricating a thread to connect our isolated experiences into a life that makes sense. So, on a daily basis, we tell a story of ourselves to ourselves.

When you stop thinking of your life as an ocean on which you are tossed, but instead imagine yourself as a sailboat that can use the prevailing winds to manipulate and shape your life course, you begin to realize the power you have.

Indeed, many things that happen to us do so by chance—we don’t get to choose those facts. What’s more, simply saying we get to choose how we view and respond to those facts sounds flimsy, useless and touchy-feely. When we begin to understand that our brains are designed to provide us a story of our lives, then this ability to shape our story starts to have some depth and meaning.

1 comment left

Cold Milk

The milk is turning to slush in the fridge, which is odd, because the kitchen itself has been over 80°F for the majority of the day. Is the cause high humidity? Mykala has been pounding through a tremendous amount of end-of-semester work, and is currently right in the middle of another paper. Her perseverance amazes me. I can’t offer her much, other than moral support and shoulder massages. And (apparently) very cold milk.

More