The way of nature or the way of grace - you have to choose which one you will follow.
This binary view is interesting, because it becomes thus: you can do either this or that. You can not do both. You can not do neither. You have to pick. Embracing one, you distance yourself from the other. It’s simple in theory, difficult in practice.
You can experience the world through your narrative
circuitry, which will be useful for planning, goal
setting, and strategizing. You can also experience the
world more directly, which enables more sensory
information to be perceived. Experiencing the world
through the direct experience network allows you to get
closer to the reality of any event. You perceive more
information about events occurring around you, as well as
more accurate information about these events. Noticing
more real-time information makes you more flexible in how
you respond to the world. You also become less imprisoned
by the past, your habits, expectations or assumptions,
and more able to respond to events as they unfold.
The narrative is our default. We are planning, telling ourselves the story of ourselves, thinking ahead, rehashing. We do this all the time. When we pause this activity, we get to experience the full immersive power of the stream of sensory information coming at us. This makes us experience life more richly. The platitude “live in the moment” isn’t about neglecting to plan, it’s about choosing to really be here, so you get the most out of right now.
It’s thundering right now. I’m sick as heck, and Mykala just got back for the evening. She was kind enough to make me an absolutely delicious late dinner.
Today, a doctor was extremely disappointed with what I had done with my crown preparation. Their exact words: “What were you thinking?” I did not appreciate hearing this, nor did I appreciate the way they had handled the entire appointment. I wanted to say this to the doctor: “Look, there are two possibilities. Either I messed this up on purpose, just to bother you. OR, I am still learning, and had I had a little more guidance, I’m sure the final product would have been well within your range of ideal. Now give me a break.”
However, doctors have the power to ruin us while we are still only students. So, I never ever critique a doctor to their face. Ever. I always tell them what they want to hear, and will continue to withhold until I’m licensed and practicing. There’s just too much debt to risk not graduating because a doctor got offended.
So, here’s what I said: “I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry. Thank you so much for your help today!”
That, my friends, is why I never tell anyone in person about this website. It is also why, when you search my name in Google, you will not find this space.
Mykala sent me Tina Fey’s Prayer for My Daughter, from her new book Bossypants. An excerpt, to give you a taste:
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.
Something where she can make her own hours but still feel
intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not
have to wear high heels.
What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf
course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be
doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own
Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she
need Not Lie With Drummers.
Makes you want to read the book. If the waiting list at the library wasn’t… let me check… 1115 people long, then we’d get it there.
And seriously, the waiting list is 1115 people for the book.
The counterintuitive secret to
getting things done is to make them more automatic, so
they require less energy.
It turns out we each have one
reservoir of will and discipline, and it gets
progressively depleted by any act of conscious
self-regulation. In other words, if you spend energy
trying to resist a fragrant chocolate chip cookie, you’ll
have less energy left over to solve a difficult problem.
Will and discipline decline inexorably as the day wears
on.
So, I want to be have a great marriage, be fit, be a good dentist. If I make sure each day at breakfast to read primary literature, and follow each day at work with a work-out, then those things become habits. When I make sure to take time to listen and support my wife, that becomes a habit. Suddenly, these things don’t require self-control, because I am automatically doing them.
As Gruber says “Eye-rollingly obvious, perhaps, but so is much of the best but most-ignored advice in life.”
Not having anything go really truly catastrophically poorly at the clinic yet, I have been wondering how I will explain to a patient when, inevitably, things go wrong. For example: “Whoah, this does not fit.” Or, “That tooth really did not last long at all.”
Assuming a dental explanation won’t do much to advance the patient’s understanding of the situation, there is a possible analogy. Consider basketball players: their job is to get an orange ball through a hoop. This is what they are paid to do. There are other things they are paid to do, but if they’re not facilitating getting an orange ball through a hoop, they’re not doing their job. This, it seems, is quite a specialty. However, even these specialists don’t make every shot they shoot. There are too many different circumstances. We don’t call them a poor basketball players because of this; instead, we consider the challenges they face.
Similarly, dentists can’t fix every tooth perfectly, and have it last for the rest of your life. They get paid to fix teeth, and they’ll do their best, but it’s impossible to fix 100% of the teeth that they encounter.
I don’t know if this analogy will work, because I haven’t yet tried it. I hope it’s a while before I have to try it out.
Learnt a new word today, “fixer”. I first heard it when Anthony Bourdain briefly referred to his show’s fixer during their trip to Beirut, Lebanon during the Lebanon War. A fixer, then is a native that you contact when you are planning to travel to an area. They can connect you with experiences you would never otherwise have, and are experts about every aspect of their area. What amazing travel guides. More in this article: The travel world’s top fixers - Times Online:
We’re talking about those expert Mr Fix-Its who know
their patch like the hairy side of their hand, and can
whisk you off to camp in a “lost” jungle temple, party in
an off-limits favela, or simply cook with Granny in her
native village, somewhere deep in the bush.
This morning, I was thinking about raising children. Admittedly, I know v̶e̶r̶y l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ nothing about it because I haven’t done it. I do think that when raising children, inspiring speeches carry almost no effect, while leading by consistent example is one of the most potent positive effects you can have on a child’s life.
Obviously, repeatedly telling your child not to lie while telling lies yourself is a problem. I wonder, though, if I will find myself telling my children things like this: “Doing the things you don’t want to so you can enjoy the things you do is a valuable skill no matter where you end up or what you end up doing.” Or will I understand that I am communicating this by example?
Apparently, I post a fair number of dashboard widgets these days. Here’s the latest:
The day this happened, I biked back home in the heat. The wind was up, and it felt artificial it was so hot. Odd thing: I biked past the five story Oak Street Ramp on the U’s campus, and there was this cool air wafting out of it. It had gotten so hot so quickly that the concrete of the parking structure had remained cool, and was cooling the block around it. It was really odd to suddenly be about 10 degrees cooler.
Similarly, under the trees of Prospect Park, the asphalt hadn’t heated up, and it was cooler. Noticing the changes in heat and my noticeably stickier tires rolled over the pavement was like having another sense.
