The hypothesis was as follows: the Binz Refectory would be crazy to keep desserts over the Thanksgiving break, so the desserts set out today should be fresh. Cautiously, I nudged the Rice Crispies bar with some plastic tongs, testing to see whether it would decay into a ball of rice sawdust, or if it was fresh enough that its mallow constitution would impart to it the structural integrity of silly putty. Thankfully (and rarely, at the Binz) the latter was the case. “Mykala!” I eagerly squeaked, “The Rice Crispies are edible!” I handed one to Mykala, carefully chose one for myself, and suddenly all was right in the world. In our eyes shone golden nuggets of a heavenly blend of cereal and marshmallows, renowned the world over for their symbiotic blend of disparate foodstuffs. Christmas music played merrily on the dining room soundsystem as we walked out of the building, cradling delicious nuggets of joy. Little did we know that our happiness was doomed to a transience of incredibly brief duration.
After about 10 seconds of chewing one of the Rice Deathbies, I could tell something was wrong. After another 5 seconds (consisting purely of the firing of pain synapses I didn’t even know I had), my brain figured it out: during the cursed production of these disgusting nuggets of terror, somebody took a bucket of vanilla extract and dumped it in the mix, never realizing that rice crispies bars are never baked. If the significance of this does not sink in, we shall journey to the land of wikipedia, where information and misinformation mix, and where our answer lies:
Vanilla essence comes in two forms: the actual extract of the seedpods, and the far cheaper synthetic essence, basically consisting of a solution of synthetic vanillin in ethanol.
The Binz’s dessert was spiked with ethanol … you know … grain alcohol. Another bite confirmed what I thought to be true - these things were foul beyond belief. Heaven help the other poor souls who fell victim to the siren song of fresh desserts. Mere shells of the real rice crispies bars they immitated, these disgusting piles of filth are doomed to fester in the bowels of hell until the end of the world.
Toddler headgear - I am hard-pressed to think of anything funnier than the pictures of these poor toddlers subjected to this padded neoprene protective headgear, all in the name of “safety.”
I’m fairly confident that the thousands of years of toddlers preceding the ones today did just fine without this sort of ridiculously overprotective hindrance to movement and dignity. I implore you not to buy one.
Hotel room that looks like a drawing - What they did was outline all the corners in thin black lines, giving the appearance that the room is a comic book sketch. Unbelivably convincing illusion.
How to descend a mountain - This is the most amazing video you’ll see this year. These guys combine hang gliding and skiing to descend a mountain in an unbelievably short time. Ben Saunders, the guy who links this, has done solo skiing expeditions to the north pole, and he calls this video “the most hardcore thing I’ve seen for a long time.”
I went home for fall break a couple of weekends ago, and while I was studying for my cell biology at my old desk, I opened up the file drawer on it. In it, I have a hanging folder folder marked “sentimental” in which I have an entire scrapbook worth of old scraps of paper I saved from high school and junior high. I’ve got band concert programs, my valedictorian speech, the brochure I received at the Sears Tower during my junior high trip to Chicago, and so much more. It’s grounding to occasionally return to these scraps. I know times were “tough” in their own way during the years I gathered these scraps, but the human power of retaining the good and forgetting the bad charges this eclectic stash with sentimental value.
I pulled two scraps from the pile to take pictures of. Some of you may recognize them (and for those who do not … it’s pretty self explanatory) as Nils’ invitations to his birthday and graduation parties during the spring and early summer of 2003. If I recall correctly, these party flyers were popular for a while in high school - they were fun little creations, sometimes printed at the school’s expense, that promoted an upcoming social shindig.
Those were good times: only 3 and a half years ago, these events feel like another lifetime. We’ve all grown so much these past years. Expect more reminiscing this coming spring as the successful conclusion of many undergraduate careers approaches.
Solar power becoming more affordable - “Last month, Japanese electronics giant Sharp Corporation showed off its new system for focusing sunlight with a fresnel lens (like the one used in lighthouses) onto superefficient solar cells, which are about twice as efficient as conventional silicon cells.”
Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon - An excerpt from the article: “Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses … like ‘tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.’ But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot’s omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto.”
Writes the Slashdot submitter: “This is most distressing.”
I want to work in revelations, not just spin silly tales for money. I want to fish as deep down as possible into my own subconscious in the belief that once that far down, everyone will understand because they are the same that far down.
