Deadly Beautiful
Mykala, just a second ago: “I’m going to bite your earlobe off and spit it up your nose.”
Ahhh, the advantages of metrication:
Actually, the metric equivalent to a ‘shitload’ is the metric ‘assload.’ As in, ‘That’s an assload of storage!’
It’s much easier to talk in terms of milliassloads, centiassloads, assloads, kiloassloads and mega-assloads than in shitloads; who can ever remember that one shitload=4 ‘whole piles of’ = 7.46 ‘whole lotta’s = 14.5 (14 even in certain states) ‘whole buncha’s = 31 ‘fair chunk of’ which, finally, contains 252 ‘bitta’s.
After all, isn’t it easier to say ‘there’s 40 centiassloads of storage on that mem card’ than ‘there’s a whole lotta and a bitta space on that mem card’?
Confucius say: “Man who run behind car get exhausted, but man who run in front of car get tired.”
Aaaaand xkcd: “Instead of office chair package contained bobcat.” Don’t forget to hover over images for helpful tooltip captions, generally further explicating the joke or extending the humor.
This “instructive” video details How to Shower: Women vs. Men. You see, it’s the same word/verb, but it results in two very very different activities (depending on your gender).
Hi, my name is Alex Micek and this is my website. Sometimes I post boring things here. This is one of them.
The Eyeshirt is the worst iPod accessory product ever made. Mykala: “How much more lame can you be?” Watch the priceless commercial.
The video of the “spider pig” part from the upcoming Simpson’s Movie is hilarious. Thanks, Mykala!
Mortuary humor - The set-up here is quick: some random guy with questionable motives supposedly was responsible for a signed affidavit opened after his death, which disclosed outrageous details about the true nature of the Roswell incident. This comment followed:
Wardway Fuels, Inc. - One of Ars Technica’s writers was able to cram iPhone purchase and a wedding into one weekend. One of her pictures shows a sign: “NO I PHONES HERE BUT WE HAVE PLENTY OF PROPANE”
Sometimes you need a Wikipedia whiteboard - “I’ve got some Sharpies in a drawer in case I need to lock it from editing.”
Here’s a great quote I saw at Jimmy John’s today:
Never be afraid to try new things. A lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of trained professionals built the Titanic.
The keynote presentation of Apple’s forthcoming iPhone has a great clip from NBC’s The Office:
I don’t have a ton of contact with the Scranton Branch, but, before I left, I took a box of Dwight’s stationary. So, from time to time, I send Dwight faxes. From himself.
From the future.
Dwight,
At 8am today, someone poisons the coffee. Do not drink the coffee.
More instructions will follow.Cordially,
Future Dwight
I’ve been reading more and more of The New Yorker lately, so I’ve been seeing a lot of their famous one panel comics that have been in their pages for years. These cartoons are selected quite carefully, as shown in a recent article about the cartoon editor of the New Yorker; from what I can tell, the cartoons are selected to be subtle, clever, and not laugh out-loud funny. They are therefore things you can glance at more than once and find entertainment.
Hamster powered shredder - Put your hamster to good use!
Scientists Create World’s Largest Novelty Atom - The best thing about the Onion is their ability to keep funny turns of phrase flowing throughout an entire article like this.
As soon as the image of that atom came on the screen, everyone just lost it. I nearly knocked over my model of a constitutional isomer, I was laughing so hard.
Great moments in sports - The best one is the bat—but the soccer ones are pretty amazing, too.
Hilarious picture of Conan - Captures the essence of the late night talk show host perfectly.
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