tumbledry

iDrive Ads

This April, I felt exceptionally fortunate to donate our seventeen-year-old nearly-300,000 mile car and purchase its replacement: a certified pre-owned fully-electric BMW i4.

On 3 July, after I had the car for about 90 days, BMW touted a “Special Surprise” at me on its first screen, the screen you see when you turn it on, in iDrive 8.

Turns out, it was this fine, anodyne (if a little 1950s, white-washed, Americana), saccharine Fourth of July video animation. Showed some BMWs zooming around. Short. Kind of fun to see video on the large screen. All I knew in early July, was BMW had done “Surprise” stuff for previous holidays like Halloween. Now because I am, uh, deeply pessimistic about the American experiment at this time, my feeling of uncertainty about the Fourth of July theme is what I recall the most.

That’s where I have to think about the psychology of this:

  1. I’m the one who clicked the button to show the July “surprise.” If I had never clicked it, I would never have seen it.
  2. My brain filed anything labelled “surprise” as kind of silly. My guard was down because I felt like I had it figured out.

So, weeks later when the NEXT “Special Surprise” appeared I honestly wondered what holiday BMW was celebrating. The way my iDrive notification was phrased did NOT include “Spider-Man” or any other hints, as I have seen in other reporting — instead, I just saw the “Surprise” text, same as Fourth of July.

I had been trained to believe it was safe to click the button. Then, when I did, I was the idiot for falling into their web. Their Spider-Man BMW ad wasn’t forced on the screen, I clicked a button to show it. I did that. To myself.

I felt silly and naïve.

I did not want to see Spider-Man.

What have I learned?

In the future, I will feel angry if my car strands me on the side of the road.
I will feel angry if the motor brushes fail expectedly.
I will feel angry if it leaks water.

By contrast, I don’t feel anger when the car tricks me into seeing an advertisement. Instead, I feel a deep, smothering, let-down at the promise of futurism. Bottomless despair is probably inappropriate; a symptom of the misanthropy I should grow out of. But. In the meantime, I feel helpless, discouraged, deeply sad.

If THIS is the intersection of technology and the liberal arts, turn off the ride, I want to get off.

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