Moments
I’m walking through the mall, with Ess riding in the Björn, and her little left hand is holding mine. I realize she’s been holding my hand for five minutes straight. Her whale spout pony tail on the top of her head swishes back and forth as she looks around.
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I’m lying on the kitchen floor when Ess walks over and, uncharacteristically, lies down next to me, resting her head in the crook of my elbow, and just stares into my eyes for thirty seconds. Satisfied with what she saw, or what she communicated, she gets up and toddles away.
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It’s bedtime and dark. Ess finds her stuffed monkey as I pick her up and carry her to her room. She rests her head in the crook of my neck, and her tiny little cheek feels cool as she snuggles in. I pause in front of her crib, holding her, willing myself to somehow remember everything about this moment. I lay her down to sleep.