Gary Jules, EBay, Minneapolis
Certainly, I am not the first person to fall in love with Gary Jules’ cover of the 1982 song “Mad World” and I am certainly not the last. I hope you are the next. A native of San Diego, Jules is a refreshing mix of pop, country, and alternative. At times, his musical style (and certainly his thought-provoking lyrical lines) makes me think of early Simon and Garfunkel. I certainly do not know enough about the music industry to say, “This guy is one to watch,” but I do think the entire album “Trading Snakeoil for Wolftickets” is a good listen.
Rarely do we read something that makes us laugh out loud. However, such was the case when I clicked on a seemingly mundane link to a “funny eBay auction” from Good Morning Silicon Valley. This is the story of a Michigan man, an upstanding fellow with 100% positive feedback, who wanted to get rid of something. The auction title: “Ryobi Router Table - Worthless Junk NR!” Goal: get rid of the thing in any way possible. The description begins:
This Ryobi router table is the worst thing I’ve ever spent money on. Period. I’ve wasted money on a lot of things in my life: women, cars, other things I didn’t need, you name it, but I’ve never felt like I totally 100% wasted my money on something until I bought this router table. I’ve wasted money, but I normally got some sort of satisfaction out of it, no matter how small, I got something out of it. This is the most worthless piece of crap item I have ever had the displeasure of working with in my life.
Whoa, this is not your normal eBay auction. The description delves into more detail, outlining the wide variety of problems with the table. I couldn’t stop laughing; it could have been because I was punchy and up late, but this is still the best eBay auction I have ever read. It continued, as the seller added updates in response to inquisitive emails:
I’ve received some emails, and yes I am willing to set it on fire, shoot it full of holes, etc. and mail pics/video to you. If the bid gets high enough to cover my ammo costs, I’d be willing to shoot it full of holes with your choice of the following: 12 gage slugs, 00 buck, or a 40 round mag from an AK.
I hear you, you’re wondering 1.) why the extensive quoting from the auction? and 2.) why haven’t I gotten the link yet? Well, 1.) eBay auctions are only online for a short amount of time. Eventually, they disappear and are no longer available. I think it makes sense to save parts of this auction for those to enjoy in the future. 2.) You may read the auction by clicking here.
Finally, many of you know Jason Kottke. However, you may not be familiar with his photo project website. On it, I found a great series of photographs of the nearby town of Minneapolis. The Minneapolis Sign Project takes a focused look at both the famous and obscure signs of our lovely neighbor across the river, Minneapolis. It is always nice to visit something close to home when you are out in the impersonal world of computing for so long.
So get off your backside and run out into the world. You will be glad you did.