Dredged Up
Something is rattling around inside me. It really came to my attention when I listened to the Lionel Richie CD for the first time in a while. Its the feeling that things are looping around or something like that. Maybe not that as much as the feeling that I am feeling the same thing I did in the past, except tinged with the unmistakable subtle nuances that are now. Regardless, class is beginning to be a daily suffering. One goes there, and suddenly fails to see the point. Class points are either ridiculously important or stunningly unimportant. Lunches pop up in random places, classes switch order, I wander halls I never did before. There is quite a restlessness in me, the first of that kind that I have felt in sometime. Something resembling spring has sprung upon the unsuspecting high school, and the reaction has been subtly deep but superficially invisible. As the weather warms up, so does the hope that this will all end and we will be out. The thing none of us really realizes is that we aren’t ready to be out, we aren’t ready to leave. It isn’t time yet, and nevertheless we chomp at the bit, nervous to start something new. I want fourth term to include some things:
1.) Appreciation for the inescapable, undeniable, now, the most real thing that anybody will ever experience.
2.) Appreciation for the past, some retrospective time to walk the halls and remember what happened as I walked through them countless times, the halls I was in when I heard about September 11th, the halls I walked after every term, enjoying the satisfaction of 4 more grades entered into the cumulative stash.
3.) Reconnection with everybody I have known over the years, honing my social skills in preparation for the massive life reorganization period known as college.
4.) Smiling.
5.) Laughing.
6.) Resting.
7.) Cutting some corners.
And that will be fourth term. But that will be fourth term if and only if one thing happens; greater than a 51 out of 60 in the coming Calc points. The more things change, the more they stay the same. If I have ever had an important 60 points; these are it - I write this only because this weblog serves me as a relatively annonymous posting place; if I were to imagine anyone from my school that I know reading this, I would not be so frank. However, that is the grades situation as it stands, and I hope to update later in the week with the good news of success.