No Sitting
All humans are simmering pots of needs; every person you meet has a unique concoction of needs brewing. Take a baby, for instance: its needs overflow moment to moment in cascades of petulant tears. As that baby grows up, it does not stop literally crying out for things because it no longer want to, it stops because crying out no longer works, surrounded as it is in a sea of selfish people. Over the years, we learn to bottle up our needs, yet they continue to drive us from the inside out.
At this collegiate stage in life, I believe a particularly pressing need is one for direction. The happiest people I know are the ones who are sure of what they are doing: they know where they want to be, what they want to do, and most importantly, what they love to do.
I have a whole pile of things I like to do, but I have not yet been able to say “I love to do X” and follow that love. There are, of course, certain things that I am certain I will not do with my life. For example, if I got paid to look good, I’d be broke. Modelling is not something I love. Thing One removed from the list of Things I Could Be. I guess I chose my biochem path in order to be challenged and to feel that I had maximized my potential … though I know that playing piano for a living could have challenged me in an entirely different way. The second-guessing is frustrating.
It comes down to priorities, I think. You choose to do one thing or work one job in order to be able to do other things. It is the lucky person who gets a job in which they can do some of the things they like or even love within that job. Dentistry, provided I make it into dental school, will allow me to do something I like: get things exactly right. Get the fit of a person’s crown just so. Order, perfection within limits of the practical, cleanliness … all present day-in, day-out in the job I seek. But there’s an all important twist: the purpose to the high standards is helping people. By pursuing the ideal of flawlessness, I do not entertain people on stage (as I would playing piano), but I make their lives better by allowing them to chew, to talk, to live without pain.
I’m just trying to reason this Life Thing out, like most of you, I think.
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