tumbledry

Unlikely Retribution

Mykala converted my idiosyncratic and decidedly gentle ill-will towards some selfish strangers to something called “Unlikely Retribution”, and here’s how it works. First, a stranger must do something bad, wrong, or otherwise morally repugnant to you. They might cut you off in traffic, spend 5 minutes ordering coffee, or take your parking spot. The offense usually occurs in an incidental way where you don’t directly interact with this person, though that isn’t a requirement.

The stage has been set, then: someone slighted you. To participate in the game, you describe the most unlikely misfortune that you hope your subject faces:

“I hope that they develop a slow leak in their tire, which forces them to drive slightly slower than normal for the rest of the day.”
“I hope their microwave malfunctions, so that it makes noise for 2 minutes, but their food still comes out cold.”
“I hope their remote control batteries die and the replacement batteries are hard to find.”
“I hope they patch the scratches in their car’s paint, and someone dings their door right after they’re done.”
“I hope they ask for extra ketchup packets, and only receive the normal amount of ketchup packets.”
“I hope the handle on their briefcase loosens so that it has only one questionable attachment point and they have to hug it for the rest of the day.”
“I hope they think there is one more stair, but they’re really on the floor and they awkwardly push their foot into nothing.”

Brainstorming such mishaps makes the whole event feel silly, trivializing the slight against you. The game pulls your thoughts out of anger and into humor.

3 comments left

Comments

Mrs. Alex +2

You invented this game? All by yourself? Interesting…

Alexander Micek

I did the original response to the insult, and you get the credit for converting it to a full-blown game. Every time I don’t request your proofreading…

Alexander Micek

Ok, now the post reflects the truth, rather than my wall-papering of reality.

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